


Otter in the Flight Deck

by madnina



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Crack, Djinni & Genies, Egypt, Gen, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnina/pseuds/madnina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a trip to Egypt, Arthur accidentally gets Martin changed into an otter. The rest of MJN have to deal with the consequences and try to find a way to change Martin back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Otter in the Flight Deck

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Dom and Bianca for the read-over :)

## Part 1 - Martin

It was 5am and far too early for Martin to be up.

Why on Earth he’d agreed to this, he couldn’t remember. He’d had a bad night’s sleep in the noisy, rundown hostel in Cairo downtown. Their taximan drove like a maniac in a car that was held together thanks to two bits of string and some duct tape. Arthur was manically enthusiastic, reading out the most exciting bits from his book about the tombs of famous Pharaohs.

Arthur. It had been all his idea. Martin had wanted to do a kindness to his steward by agreeing to accompany him on this day trip to Nefertari’s tomb, reputedly one of the most beautiful and well preserved in all of Egypt. He was seriously reconsidering now whether the whole thing was worth it.

As the barrier to the site entrance finally lifted and fifty taxis raced themselves to get their clients one of the hundred daily available tickets, Martin thought of how wise Douglas had been in choosing to sleep in instead. He clung on to the front seat for dear life and prayed to whatever God there was that he would get out of this alive.

Once the messy business of getting an entrance ticket was over, Martin had to admit the place was actually almost worth the close brush with death in a crazy taxi. The tomb was magnificent and preserved perfectly. As they stepped into the pyramid, the noise from outside faded completely, leaving only the echo of their footsteps to be absorbed by the millenia-old stone.

“Ooh, the book says the Egyptians had loads of gods, and they all had animal faces,” said Arthur, even though Martin hadn’t asked. “Isn’t that brilliant? And every one of them was in charge of something different. And there’s loads of different ones here, they probably painted all of them because Nefertari was really important. Oh and the reason they all look so real, and not all cracky and old like in other pyramids, is because they left loads of gold and jewels in here, and people knew that so normally they would open up the pyramid again to get in and steal all of it, BUT the first people who came in stole all the gold actually closed up the doors really well behind them because they didn’t want anyone else to come in! So nobody else came in here after and it stayed just like it was thousands of years ago. Isn’t that amazing, Skip?”

Martin had to admit it sort of was. He’d never imagined the inside of a pyramid could look so well preserved. He gazed up at the ceiling painting, representing a starry night sky. The colours were rich and deep and dark, as if they had been freshly painted. He couldn’t believe that they were actually thousands of years old. It felt surreal. If he didn’t know better, he’d think the brightly painted stars were glimmering at him, as if animated by some deep and ancient magic. Martin felt a cold shiver of awe run up his spine. Even Arthur had stopped his rapid-fire commentary, soaking in the beauty of the place.

Enchanted by their surroundings, Martin forgot to pay attention to where the rest of the group was going and absentmindedly followed Arthur. Pretty soon they were alone, the other tourists having gone on ahead without them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Martin spotted Arthur leaning over and poking one of the wall tapestries.

“Arthur,” he said nervously, “I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to touch that. In fact they explicitly said before we went in-“

“I know, Skip, but look!”

“Where?”

“There! It’s a sort of.. button!”

Martin looked around him nervously. He really didn’t want to get kicked out and possibly fined because Arthur had ruined priceless millennial artwork.

There was a click and the sound of sliding stone.

“Oooh. A secret door!”

“Arthur!”

It was too late. Arthur had stepped through. Martin hesitated for a second. He really should go get help, find a guide, or anyone that was nearby. He didn’t want to get told off when someone found him and Arthur in a part of the pyramid they weren’t supposed to be in.

On the other hand, he wanted to be yelled at by Carolyn for losing her son inside a giant pyramid even less.

Sighing, he followed Arthur into the doorway.

—

“Oh wow, look! They’ve recreated Nefertari’s treasure!”

Martin gaped as he looked at the room in front of him. The only source of light were four lonely candles, but the room was filled with so much gold and jewellery that the soft light was reflected and magnified.

“Look! They even did a copy of the Queen’s crown! The book said nobody ever found it!” Arthur picked up the massive gold crown and rubbed it. “It’s really heavy!”

“Arthur, I think… Maybe it isn’t fake at all.” How was it possible that they’d stumble across an unexplored part of the pyramid? Didn’t archeologists usually examine the whole edifice for that sort of thing? 

A cry of protest lodged itself in his throat as Arthur confidently deposed the golden tiara on top of his head.

“Look, Skipper! Does it fit me?”

“Arthur! Put that back!”

“Why? It’s just a fake crown, and nobody’s around.”

“I don’t think any of this is fake! No museum would leave so much jewellery just… lying around!”

“Ooh, so maybe we’ve discovered a new part of the pyramid! That’s amazing Skip! Do you think they’ll let us keep part of the treasure?” Arthur started rummaging through the pile of golden objects.

“I think we should get the hell out of here, Arthur. We’re not supposed to be in this room.” That, and Martin’s earlier shiver of awe had turned into goosebumps all over his body. It was probably just the flickering light of the candles but he could swear the characters painted in the Egyptian tapestries were glaring at him.

“This is so much fun! Do you think we’ll find the Holy Grail in here?”

By now, Arthur was knee deep in the mass of cold coins and treasure. He looked like a child who’d been given an extra hour in the ball pit.

“I’m pretty sure the Holy Grail is supposed to be somewhere in the Promised Land.”

“Where’s that?”

“Israel, I think.” Or possibly Palestine.

“Look! A magic lamp! Just like in Aladdin!”

Arthur held out a gorgeous, golden oil lamp. It did look a lot like Aladdin’s lamp from the cartoon movie, except it was covered in engravings.

“What do you think those pictures mean?”

Martin’s curiosity took over his nervousness. Arthur’s enthusiasm was contagious. He took the object in his hands carefully. It really did look old.

“Probably some mythological figures.”

“Really? They don’t look anything like in my book though. They look kind of angry. I wonder if there’s a genie inside?”

Martin scoffed and handed back the lamp to Arthur, who began rubbing it enthusiastically with his sleeve.

“This has been nice, Arthur, but we really should get back before we get into troub- oh! What happened? Are you all right?”

Arthur had yelped and dropped the lamp on the floor.

“It burned my fingers! It got really hot!”

Martin raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you were polishing it that hard, Arthur.”

“It really was, though! It… oh.”

Before their eyes, the lamp suddenly started glowing and spewed forth, in a whisper of silence, a huge towering creature. It looked exactly like the strange moustachioed characters engraved on the lamp. Except bigger, and much more real. And definitely angrier.

The apparition opened its mouth and its voice thundered something incomprehensible. Martin’s knees were shaking and he felt an overwhelming urge to kneel down on the floor.

“Wow! A genie!”

Arthur’s voice broke through the terrifying aura that had filled the chamber. Martin swallowed and tried to reassure himself. Right. This was a genie. Coming from a lamp. Not some evil demon. And that meant-

“YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY PRISON, MORTALS. I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR HEART'S DESIRE. SPEAK YOUR WISH.”

“Are you a real genie?”

The genie had already looked grumpy from being woken up. It looked down on Arthur like he was a cockroach that had suddenly turned up in his dinner.

“FOOLISH MORTAL, I AM NO GENIE!” it thundered. 

“Oh, what are you then?”

“Arthur, you’re making it angry!” Martin hissed.

“I AM AN IFFRIT. ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. If you had even a _smidgeon_ of education you would know this.” The thundering voice and righteous anger had subsided into jaded exasperation. The iffrit sighed and rubbed his eyebrows.

“The humans of this century, I swear to the gods…”

“Can I still make a wish though?”

“That you may. Go on, be quick about it, I don’t have all day.”

“Oh, I get to make a wish! I’ve got so many ideas, I don’t know which one to choose.”

“Arthur, don’t!” Martin shouted.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t make a wish! It’s a trap.”

“How? He said I could have my heart's desire!”

“Yes, mortal. Are you calling me a liar? Do you doubt me? An iffrit is bound to his word.”

“They say you get a wish,” Martin countered, “but then they make it happen in really unexpected and horrible ways! Hasn’t anyone ever told you, be careful what you wish for?”

“Oh, yeah! But I actually just thought of a really really good wish!”

“It doesn’t matter what it is. It’ll go wrong, no matter what you wish for!”

“I resent that,” interrupted the iffrit. “I always give people exactly what they wish for.”

“Oh, and you’ve never purposefully misinterpreted their intentions? Having a laugh at the poor stupid mortal?”

“Only if they deserve it. And you are being very, very rude right now.”

“It’s all right, Skip! I saw a movie once and I know exactly what to wish for so that there’s no chance of anything going wrong.”

“Really?” Both the iffrit and Martin asked at the same time. Martin didn’t like the knowing smile on the creature’s face. It looked far too smug.

“Let’s hear it, then.”

“Arthur, no!”

“I wish for Martin to be happy!”

Martin was stunned.

“This is your wish?”

“Yeah! See, it’s perfect, because it’s not a selfish wish, it’s for someone else, so you can’t get back at me for being too greedy like in the movies, like Skip said. And all I asked is for Skip to be happy! You can’t go wrong with that.”

Martin recovered from his shock somewhat.

“Arthur, that’s… You didn’t need to do that. I’m perfectly fine, you could have used that wish for something for yourself!”

“Yeah, but I wanted to! I know you’re a bit sad sometimes, and you always say it’s fine, and sometimes I try to cheer you up, but I can tell it doesn’t really make the sadness go away. And I know you don’t like taking charity or people giving you stuff, but I’m not giving you anything, am I? We got a free wish. So I just asked Mr Genie-“

“I am an _iffrit_!”

“-to make you happy.”

Martin couldn’t help but feel touched.

“That was really nice of you, Arthur. Thank you.”

“That’s all right Skip! It makes me happy if you’re happy. So in the end, everybody wins.”

Arthur had a way of making things very simple. Martin smiled despite himself.

“I’ve never had anybody ask me that before,” mused the iffrit. “But fair enough. YOUR WISH… IS GRANTED.”

The iffrit bent over, picked up a handful of sand from the floor, and blew it from his palm towards Martin.

To his surprise, Martin felt his whole body start to prickle.

“What… what’s going on?”

At least, that’s what he tried to say. The words got stuck in his throat, and his whole body was overrun by pins and needles. The last thing he saw was the iffrit laughing out loud and Arthur looking at him with a look of shock on his face, and the glimmering eyes of the painted gods with animal heads.

Then everything disappeared under a sheet of darkness.

## Part 2 - Arthur

Oh. This was a bit not good.

“Skip!”

There was nothing left except Skipper’s clothes. He’d completely melted away before Arthur’s very eyes. Arthur felt a funny sort of dryness in his throat.

“He’s… gone.” Martin was gone. Just melted away. This couldn’t be happening. He turned around to the genie. “What did you do? Why did you make him disappear? Bring him back!” He probably shouldn’t be shouting at a powerful genie. But he’d made Martin disappear. Arthur didn’t understand. His wish had been fail-safe!

Before the genie could answer, Matin’s clothes started shuffling about and a high-pitched squeak could be heard from within. A fuzzy, whiskered brown face emerged from Skip’s shirt.

“Oh. Oh! You changed him into an otter!”

Breathing out in relief, Arthur stepped forward and picked Martin up. It was a surprise, but at least his Skipper was alive. And he was holding him in his arms, which had never happened before, and actually felt pretty amazing. Martin wasn’t moving much and looked like he was in shock. Arthur patted his head gently to reassure him. As far as otters went, Skip wasn’t particularly large. His fur was pleasant and soft though. He gave a softer squeak that could only be described as confused. Arthur felt something in his chest tighten. Skip was _adorable_.

“Why did you…” Arthur’s voice trailed off as he realised the genie had vanished. The lamp lay on the floor, tarnished and looking decidedly un-magical. Arthur supposed he could try rubbing it again but something told him it wouldn’t do any good.

“Okay. This isn’t too bad. You don’t mind being an otter, do you Skip? Otters are brilliant. I didn’t think the genie would do that. Maybe being an otter is what would make you really happy? You’ll probably have loads of fun, actually. They’re very good at swimming… I could get fresh fish from ASDA for you. I could…” 

Martin suddenly flattened his little ears and bared his teeth at Arthur. Now that he’d recovered from his surprise, he didn’t look happy at all. In fact, he definitely looked unhappy. His fur was bristled and his tail was swishing like an angry cat’s.

“Ok, so it might be a bit tricky. I’ll help you though. You’ll be just fine, Skip! You’ll see, being an otter is fun. You’ll be able to to loads of… really fun otter things! Wouldn’t that make you happy?”

Martin hissed.

“Ok, um… you’re not happy. That’s normal, it must be a bit upsetting changing bodies. Don’t worry though, you’ll be all right.”

Arthur tried hard to speak in a calm and reassuring way but felt his voice waver. Martin’s teeth were really sharp and although Human Martin would never bite him, he wasn’t so sure about Otter Martin. In any case, he couldn’t blame him for being annoyed. Anybody would feel a bit cranky after being turned into a small woodland creature (although Arthur thought if it happened to him he would definitely love it).

In the meantime, there was nothing to it. He’d have to go back an explain this to Mum and to Douglas. He wasn’t sure they’d like the idea so much. Could Skipper still pilot the plane as an otter? Arthur glanced at the little clawed feet. They were slightly webbed but looked agile enough.

First things first though.

“Let’s go back to the hotel. Then we can find Douglas. He always has a clever plan. Maybe we can even get you changed back?”

That seemed to calm Martin down. Arthur guessed it was maybe a bit early to mention his long-time plan of installing a water slide into his bath at home.

He gently propped Martin on his shoulder and neck, wincing slightly as Martin’s claws scraped him slightly. Once he was stable, Arthur picked up the clothes laying abandoned on the floor and they made their way out of the pyramid to hail a taxi back.

## Part 3 - Douglas

There were definitely better hotels than this. In nicer countries. With weather that wasn’t so uncomfortably hot and dry. And there existed nicer, larger pools, with more attractive swimmers.

Douglas didn’t let that bother him. No negative thoughts would come disturb the quiet poolside digestion of a good breakfast in the Cairo morning sun. He had at least another good hour or two before the sun got too hot. For the time being, he sipped his freshly squeezed orange juice and enjoyed the peace and quiet. If he really relaxed and emptied his mind, it was almost like being back with Elisabeth, on a nice summer’s day, with Verity playing in the paddling pool…

“Oh, there you are! Douglas!”

A distant, discordant voice threatened to shatter his rêverie. If he ignored it, it might go away.

“Douglas!”

The voice was getting closer. With a heavy sigh, Douglas pulled himself out of his daydream and focused on the slightly dusty-looking Arthur in front of him, holding an…

“Good heavens, Arthur, I didn’t know the local souk sold otters. I hope you at least negotiated the price down. That one looks rather decrepit.”

The animal in question did look slightly ruffled. It gave an indignant squawk in protest.

“No, no, it’s not really an otter, well it kind of is, but also not, you see, this is actually Martin…”

Douglas only really understood a third of the following five minutes of Arthur’s story, haphazardly delivered and not making a whole lot of sense. Something about a crown and a button and an evil genie. He looked at the otter instead. The animal was twitching nervously in Arthur’s arms, whiskers quivering slightly. It looked upset. Maybe it was just the dry weather making its fur look patchy and rough. But its look was more than startling. Douglas had never been one for sentimentality, especially not with animals, but there was something pleading and thoughtful in those brown eyes that was just a little bit unnerving. Like a spark of intelligence that shouldn’t have been there.

“So you’re saying,” he said slowly, “that this otter is, in fact, our captain.”

“Basically, yes,” replied Arthur, at the same time that the otter gave a cry of approval. No. It wasn’t approval. Otters couldn’t understand human speech, much less express human emotions. This was simply ridiculous.

“Do you realise how absurd that sounds?”

“It’s true, though! I saw it happen. It’s like one of those ancient Egyptian curses. Do you know how we might change him back? I just wished for him to be happy, but I don’t think he’s very happy right now. Maybe the genie got it wrong.”

“Look, Arthur, this has been amusing, but you really ought to put it back where you found it.”

“I can’t put him back, it’s Martin!”

“How can a person be turned into an otter? It’s physically impossible.”

The otter gave a small growl and shifted in Arthur’s arms, tugging at his backpack insistently. 

“Oh, right!”

Arthur carefully dropped the otter on the floor, then fished out a notebook and a pen from his backpack. The otter took the pen, which was one of those large biros with four ink colours, and awkwardly started dragging it across an empty page.

IT IS MARTIN

Douglas prided himself on being pretty much unflappable. Faced with unquestionable evidence, he silently re-arranged his notions of what was physically possible in this universe. At some point later today he would sit in his chair, let himself feel the shock, and wish for the umpteenth time he could have a drink. But that was later. For now, the situation needed dealing with.

“And how exactly did you find yourself in this predicament, Martin?”

The otter (Martin, he forced his brain to accept the fact) took back the pen again. His writing was awkward and wobbly and took up the whole double page of the notebook.

THAT CLOT MADE A WISH AND A GENIE CURSED ME. 

“Hey!” Arthur protested. Martin ignored him and kept writing.

DO SOMETHING. I CAN’T FLY A PLANE LIKE THIS.

Indeed he couldn’t. It was unlikely his paws could even reach the controls. 

“I’m not sure what I can do, Martin. While finding loopholes in airline regulations is certainly my forte, even I can’t find manipulate the physical structure of the universe. Did you try rubbing the lamp again to ask for a second wish?”

Arthur replied, “I did try. I even took the lamp with me, so we could try again later in case the genie had gone to sleep or something.”

Arthur took the lamp out of the bag. In broad daylight, it looked old, worn and not at all valuable. The carvings were tacky and faded, and the metal shone with a cheap gold sheen. Douglas wouldn’t have been surprised to see “Made in Taiwan” stamped on the bottom of it.

“This is the lamp the… genie came from?”

Arthur nodded. Douglas tentatively rubbed it with his palm. They waited expectantly, holding their breath. Nothing happened.

“You’re sure it was this one? There were no other similar ones?”

“No, it was the only one! There were lots of jewels and even a crown, but that was the only lamp. I know because I thought straight away that it looked like the one from Aladdin.”

“Yes, well. Perhaps Mr Genie has a strict schedule and only comes out once a day. Or every other tuesday.” Or once a century, or never again, Douglas thought grimly. “Keep this with you Arthur, and we’ll try again tomorrow. There’s nothing else we can do for now, I fear.”

Martin gave a sad-sounding whistle. Douglas couldn’t help but smirk. Out of all the things Martin could have been changed into, an otter seemed hilariously appropriate. Douglas secretly congratulated the genie on his choice.

“In the meantime, Captain, you seem rather worse for wear. I suggest we get you back to the hotel room for a wash. That’ll also keep you away from prying eyes.”

Several other clients were indeed starting to look at them curiously. Arthur jumped in on the idea.

“Oh, of course! Otters love water. We don’t have baths in the rooms but I can fill the sink, and maybe you can soak in it? Wouldn’t that be nice, Skip? Maybe we can even play pirates! I always bring my pirate boat and Mr Duck along, just in case.”

Arthur picked up the notebook and Martin, and carried them to his room with a spring in his step. Martin looked back at Douglas, eyes wide and paw outstretched in a silent plea for a rescue.

“I hope sir enjoys his bath time!” Douglas saluted with a sarcastic smile. Martin’s paw dropped and his head sunk in resignation, as Arthur carried him upstairs to his room.


End file.
